Addiction

My vision's blurry
And my speech is slurry
Reckless and in a hurry
Incoming reality checklist which I need to bury
Instagram and train of stories
Right tap tap tap….
Oh look at me I'm a psychopath !
I need your validation to get HIGH on the Glory
A few cigarette here and there
Just the right amount of toppings on this vanity fair
Woke up 11.30 in the morning I've headache now…
Why the FCUK the sun does have a glare !
Now that I've turned into a zombie I don't need vitamin D for skin care
Blood is to mainstream I gotta drink a few litres of wine just to be clear
Feminism got Women a glass of of wine in one hand and cigarettes in the other
Men got nothing to lose so they piss Old monk like the stream from the souther
Hey bruh don't worry I've four kidneys and two livers * in case of emergency *
The coolness with which I smoke my stash around
Junkies wanna just crash my house
I'm the alpha male and the ladies just turn their head around
Eyes red everywhere
Two shades light to be pretty
Smoke some hookah you pretty
I'll buy you a new pair of lungs when you need it * wink *
Marijuana is peace
Hey kid how much for the cookies ?
Look I'm the leader of this nation
One joint at a time is the notion
-N.B

Will I be the same ?

Will I be the same when we fall apart ?
Will I be able to see any other girl the way I saw you ?
Will even my poems feel the warmth of skin of whom about it is written for and about ?
Will I say good night dear or night until the day arises ?
What will be the parameters of liking her ? You or her beauty ?
Everybody thinks I've met my love and romancing with her but,
Will I be ever satisfied even though I've never felt beyond a few hand shaken and a few shoulder taps
Or admiring you chubby cheeks
Will my lines become clichéd ?
I guess I got my answer, Touche!
Will I breath the same ?
Will you answer these never ending questions or you will even leave this like you left me,
Unanswered when I asked nothing.
-N.B.

I don’t know why I’m so weird Pt.3

I don't know why I'm so weird
I see the future passing by me as if there's no illusion
Passing through the mountain peaks on a starry night
I see the optimism floating up in the sky
Yet I don't give up …
Again the question…. Why ?
The car is pitch black with yellow headlights like the sun
They scan for animal fight club on these white lined roads
There's 2 passengers in the back seats
One is my so called friend and her evil twin "fiance"
It's not I hate him but there's no neutral space either
But at that moment I don't care who's with me
Nor I flow into the distant future "future"
I just listen to the beats of "Hey Jude"
That evil twin's suspicious.. he asks "Are you high dude ?"
I just mutter under my breath… "No clue"
Even those roads are feels like home
Still better than the boulevard of broken dreams
My love for them still grows… every single time
Yes, I'm SINGLE at the moment
Too old and too rich use torrent
I lay in my bed with every scene running like a 1920's movies came true
Who said it's an illusion when in my mind it's all real
-N.B.

Kings of mirage

I was the king
You were the soldier
You are the rebellion I once was and that it is over
Standing out differently,
People ready to stoke and smoulder

I was the king
You were the soldier
You were true to me
Lets march together into the monarchs
You were the foundation of my kingdom
You spilled you’re blood full of wisdom

I was the king
You were the soldier
You were the loud thunder
I was the silent storm under

I was the king
You were the soldier
I get you, most of it
You were me, when I was three
Now just to need to set yourself free

I was the king
You were the soldier
But this is how it’s meant to be
Let me change your shady thoughts
I may try but you must permit
I’m no invader, just a silly kingdom hermit !

-N.B.

You kneel before my throne unaware it was made of lies .
Unknown

Is it too late?

Is it too late or maybe is it not?
Yet subtly the unspoken gets woven into the fabric of our lives
The smugness with which we carry our arrogance around
And we still dream to be together
Hope the other person will read in-between the lines
As if for a headache the Doctor will prescribe two bottles of wine
We look at each other and say “Hey there!” (The smugness never faded)
But does one really acknowledge other’s presence?
Or just and illusion of standing in front of a nonexistent mirror….(it waves back too!)
The game to and fro goes ON and ON until eternity
In the End, we ask ourselves…
Is it too late? (To understand/be understood, explore, laugh, live)
Basically… Be content with our Rituals.

-N.B.

Life

She’s here to stay or let’s say
She’s here to slay me
It’s like trying to out pace the inevitable
All the emotions she shows to me
More like poses of a model directed towards a camera called my heart
All the editing and the touch ups to her faces
Done in a supercomputer call her brain
And if ghost busting was a trophy hunting sport
She already had me ghosted
Roasted like coffee beans
Eventually directly tossed into garbage bin
It’s not about him or her
Nor the question what or why ?
Everything centred around pronoun “I”
” Is it me or is it getting crazier out there ? is also not question to be asked”
Cuz I know for sure it was always this crazy out there
My parents put me in a bubble
Where truth and honesty were real
And she’s trying to bust that bubble
Trying to put back in the trouble… From which I’m trying to escape

-N.B.

Khayal

Ajeeb se khayalat hogaye hai mere
Din mein ek baar toh maut maut maut na keh du toh din nahi gujarta
Raat ko chain ki neend nahi aati
Khubsurti se sauda karr liya
Dil ke badle shabd de de
Toh ab usne dil tod ke chakna choor karr diya
Ab log kehte hai khudki mayyat pr yeh nahi rota
Lekin unhe kon batlayein ki jite ji bhi marr gaye the hum
Tehelne jaye kahi pahadon pr toh kudne ka mann karta hai
Afsos nahi lagta ki kisi ko hunare jane se bura bhi lagega
Jab rail ki patriyon pe tehelta hu toh lagta yeh koi rail aakr bass muje jannat dikha de
Ajeeb se khayalat bn gaye hai mere
Na jeene ki aas hai nai shaitano pr wishwas hai
Bass tadpa kr jeeteji maar diya
Ab maja hi nahi bacha ki chalo 100 jagaha meri iss sharir pr ghav karr de
Khoon se hi aaj khud ko rangle
Ajeeb se khayalat ho gaye…
Bass der marne ki hai….
-N.B.

I don’t know why I’m so weird Pt.II

I don’t know why I’m so weird
Suddenly on lousy Saturday evenings, I miss those nonexistent visit to these white and brown beaches
The soft sand under my feet
No worry of my flip flops being worn by the sea
The blushing of the sun when it touches the horizon
Me just sitting on the coastline
The sand is being playful
Filling every possible and impossible pockets of my shorts
The sea air damping my bare back and neck
Trying to replace my sweat glands (if possible)
Why is there a guitar playing in the background ?
When it is actually playing in my brain
A sweet voice singing
White teeths all over…. Smiling !
Man it’s confusing,
Even though it feels delusional… I’m enjoying
Swinging to the beats of heartbeats around me
Everything is so unreal
I’ve lost my mind for real
The darkness and coconuts shadow
Under the moonlight I lay
It’s midst of a summer
Yet there’s bonfire
My hands empty of I don’t know what…. They just feel empty at the moment.
My hair trying to chase the wind
But even the wind’s a trickster
It runs all around… He he !
There’s sound of something crashing on the beach again and again
I don’t rush to what happened
It’s crashing so rhythmic
I want to crash in love…. All over again
Who said it’s an illusion when in my mind it’s all real

-N.B

I don’t know why I’m so weird Pt. I

I don't know why I'm so weird
Yet, in one of my lucid dreams
I'm living with half a dozen of guy and a girl in this huge 3 floored bungalow
And the girl… Well for no apparent reason is my love interest
Those guy stay up all night.. fighting, debating, creating
On one such evening all of em gathered for a show down
Work was on the line and they were up to beat the clock
I worked in a parallel universe to them
Yet our residence… in the same dimension
Tired, I slam opened the door
Empty stomach grumbled
And there she came with a wide smile and a plate full of food
Maybe, exactly because of that she was my oasis
She understood me better than anybody
Her face hinted that even she had a marathon day
The white loose tee seemed to cover her beauty perfectly…. Strong yet fragile
She sat with me till I ate my plate clean
My stomach was full but she seemed more satiated
I went to check out those guys and by mistake while walking pulled a pin from it's socket
Suddenly two of the screens went and there was chaos everywhere
Cussed and yelled at… I left angrily for my bed on the second floor
My face was burning with anguish and rage
Yet, work wasn't going to complete it self
So I took out my laptop and starting punching keys

Work… Work… Work… Who the fuck yells for such a silly reason my brain said
Again I reminded myself… Work… Work… Work

And after half an hour she was back again
She knew what had happened
But, innocently she came and sat by my bed
Looked into my eyes and took my hand in her hand
And commanded.. Keep that work aside
I obliged because she was oasis in this desert called life
She removed her T-shirt and threw it on to the laptop
The bed was small… Enough only for one guy
Yet she managed to snuggle
Her bare back touched my chest
Arms so soft that even a feather might slip on it
The warmth she radiated filled the abyss with me
Her innocence absorbed my rage
And her blood mixed with mine
Cooled it down
Everything happened in a matter of seconds
And I was looking at her face while she fell asleep
I said to myself…
Maybe this is what oasis actually is !
It fills you without you even realising…

Suddenly, as I fill her in my eyes
And make copies of her in my memory
A heavy male voice ask for me from thr floor below
Slowly as I get up after putting a warm rug on her
And about to leave the bed, I realise she's still holding my hand while asleep
She murmurs, "Don't give up on yourself and stop getting angry re…"
And I smile… Oasis indeed !

I walk down the stairs to the floor when these cavemen were now lying on the couch and around the room
Chips and few more snacks.. ( A treat to themselves for getting work done )
They all look at me…
One of them while chewing mouthful of potato chips says…
Don't get bothered by such silly stuff…
We are men and this is how it's meant to be !
Another one slyly putters…. " He only needs a reason to have her around " and winks
And the room crashed into laughter
Even I've grinned…. Still thinking of her innocent face
Who said it's an illusion when in my mind it's all real

-N.B.

Crisis ?

I'm weak, Kill me
There's a wire running down my spine
It tells me what to do most of the time
At times even it is clueless
So I nervously laugh, sigh, maybe smile a little bit
At the extreme end I'll call you tell you how I feel
And suddenly I lose all my steam
System back to normal again
Lack of self esteem?
The fear grows on the inside
Do I seem stupid? Or am I stupid?
The people who I call my mine…
Do they judge me every single time?
Am I a really complex being or a silly chaotic human thing?
Or is it the just a moment like monsoon clouds over sunshine
Sometimes it feels like it's me against the world
And the people of this world never went to school
The only rule that's followed here is the jungle rule
So I clenched my fist
Swing a punch in the air
And I mumble… So be it! Me against the world  
-N.B.